Children and their parents are busier today than ever before, but some downtime helps kids to grow and develop. Downtime is creative, unstructured play. It's free time to spend alone or with family and friends. It's time without scheduled activities or plans.
For families, scheduling often starts with a playdate for your toddler, then a gym class, and a music lesson. Before you know it, your child is taking viola lessons, playing baseball, participating in the after-school computer club, and playing soccer-all on top of homework each day. When free time arrives, there's the world of heavily marketed videos, computer games, media devices, and television. All of it distracts from true downtime.
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More than a third of kids in a recent survey feel "stressed" because they have too much to do and well over two-thirds wished they had more free time.1 |
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Children who are overextended can have symptoms of stress-from headaches and stomachaches to temper tantrums, an inability to concentrate in school, and sleeping problems.2 |
Unstructured free time is considered as important for your child's development as academics and sports. Unstructured downtime and play are central to children learning, reasoning, making decisions, fostering creativity, and processing emotions and events that happen in their lives.3
Kids learn to give and take, especially during play with other children. They practice when to stand up for themselves and when to compromise, without an adult directing them. They use vital problem-solving skills. Play sets the stage for academic success, too. A child's social and developmental skills gained through play are as important as specific knowledge he or she masters. In fact, researchers find that children who play with their caregivers in imaginative ways make significant gains in ready-to-learn skills.4
Experts urge parents to remember that life is not a “nonstop rollercoaster of over-the-top phenomenal fun times.” Parenting is not a competitive sport either. Stop and ask yourself, Am I getting pressure from other parents or family members? Am I fearful my child will lack the extra edge to get into a good college? Don’t let these pressures prevent you from giving your child some free time.
You can do a number of things to help children make the most of playtime:
Sleep—Don’t forget the basics. Rest is key for success at all levels. Allow for plenty of it. Include a routine at night with calming activities such as reading, chatting or listening to music.
Simplify—Find toys in everyday objects and let your child’s imagination soar. Empty boxes can be a house, a spaceship or anything else your child imagines.
Choices—Encourage your child to choose an activity or explore something of interest. Don’t try to steer her in any direction. Let your child lead the way.
Read—This introduces your child to new thoughts and new ideas, and fires imaginations.
Role Model—Parents are their children’s best teachers. If your daughter sees you value unstructured time, she will, too. Turn off the cell phone, stop checking e-mail, and just hang out. Eliminate, limit, or refuse to buy more high-tech gear.
Check In—Involve your child in decisionmaking and planning and question him about whether he feels his days are too busy. Does he need more time to play with friends, read, or just relax after school? Practice watching and listening to him closely for clues as to his real feelings. Make no assumptions about your child’s feelings.
Family Time—Make plans every week to spend time as a family. Whether it is eating dinner or breakfast together, playing board games, going out to the park, walking, or reading together.5
Keeping busy with scheduled activities is not necessarily bad for a child. Some kids stay busy because they want to, not because of parental pressure. Children have their own thresholds for stress. Some kids and families handle a busy schedule better than others, and some kids thrive when involved in multiple activities. The key is to be aware when too much is too much by noticing your child’s moods, grades, and health. Make sure that your child has free time to imagine, dream, and grow.
Family Activity Ideas
- Start a family or neighborhood reading festival! They encourage the quality of the experience (discussions and interactions among kids about the books they've read) not quantity (number of books read). Create themes: "Home & Family," "Mysteries & Thrillers," "Island Adventure," "Ghost Stories," "Safari!" "Survivor," "Olympics," "Wet and Wild," and "Cowboys and Westerns." Make posters of favorite characters and action. Have a "Storyteller" day, where a reader or parent can hold onto a symbolic object and tell the story, while everyone listens and has an opportunity to ask questions at the end. Keep it an exciting, engaging, interactive experience that will stimulate children's imaginations, rouse their curiosity, and leave them eager for more.
- Doodads, Thing-a-ma-bobs, and Other Stuff: What can you invent from a bag of different items? Place the same set of objects--inventive play stuff like bottle caps, toothpicks, toilet paper rolls, popsicle sticks, straws, egg cartons-in individual paper bags. Distribute to each person. See how many different ideas can come from the same junk.
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Sources
What Will the Children Play With?
It’s Time to Play
Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills
Free Play Network
Discovery and Play: children benefit from the great outdoors.
Nancy Carlsson-Paige, 2008. Taking Back Childhood: Helping Your Kids Thrive in a Fast-Paced, Media-Saturated, Violence-Filled World. New York: Hudson Street Press.
Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Diane Eyer, 2004. Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn—and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less. New York: Rodale Books.
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