You may be doing a great job teaching your kids not to use alcohol or drugs, but what about the messages they’re getting from some of their friends? Kids seem to get caught in a tug of war between what they hear from their parents and what they hear from their peers. In reality, study after study has found that parents can make a big difference in the choices their children make.

Children today often are exposed to alcohol, tobacco, and drugs as early as elementary school, so it’s never too early for parents and caregivers to get involved. If you let your child know up front that you don’t approve of her using tobacco or illegal drugs or drinking alcohol, your child will be less likely to use those substances. It’s up to you to keep up with what’s going on in your children’s lives. For example, parents often don’t realize how widespread marijuana use is among youth. About 59 percent of teens report having friends who use marijuana, yet just one in five parents (21 percent) believes their teen has friends who use the drug.¹ Having friends who use drugs is a strong warning sign that a teen is more likely to use drugs.² In most cases, teens get marijuana and other drugs from their friends.

Keeping your child free from drug use means keeping tabs on who he chooses as friends. This is especially important during the summer months when youth often have large amounts of unsupervised time to hang out with current friends and make new ones. Sometimes the group they want to join may be drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or using drugs.

You can’t choose your child’s friends for her, but you can teach her to make and keep friends who are alcohol and drug free. Get to know your child. She is an individual with hopes, fears, likes, dislikes, and special talents. The more you know about your child, the easier it will be to guide her toward positive activities and friendships. As you help her look for friends, you might want to:

• Look for kids who have positive qualities. Do they share your child’s interests? Are they considerate of others? Do they choose to stay away from alcohol and drugs?
• Encourage your child to join youth groups and participate in supervised activities. Kids aged 12 to 17 who spend time in those activities are less likely to use cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs than kids who do not.³ For example, your child might join a soccer league, art class, youth choir, chess club, summer camp, 4-H, or community service organization like Youth Service America. More ideas for summer activities
• Let your child build friends from different places. Your child may have some friends from her neighborhood, others from school, and still others from the youth groups she joins. It’s okay for your child to hang out with lots of different people.
• Make your child’s friends feel welcome in your home. Let your child know when she can invite friends to your house. This is a good time to meet the parents of your child’s friends.
• Learn the signs and symptoms of alcohol and drug use so you can spot them in your children or their friends. Check out Tips for Teens: The Truth About Alcohol.

Your kids’ friends matter to him, but believe it or not, you matter more. Talk with your child about what makes a good friend. Make sure he knows that you want him to find friends who do not use alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. When you teach your child to choose friends wisely, he is less likely to choose friends who use drugs—and is less likely to use drugs himself.

Sources

Additional Resources

Boys & Girls Clubs of America, last referenced 5/3/05.

Boys Scouts of America National Council, last referenced 5/3/05.

Cyber Kids, last referenced 5/3/05.

Free Vibe, last referenced 5/3/05.

Girl Scouts of America, last referenced 5/3/05.

National 4-H Council, last referenced 5/3/05.